Parenting Coordinator

Simply put, Teach a Man to Fish. Fighting out a divorce concerning the custody of children between parents can become adversarial, antagonistic and hostile. Typically, it is not a major, life-altering issue that causes the greatest amount of conflict between parents but the the constant, every day decisions that fuel the fire of dispute. For some reason, parents are more likely to argue over an exchange location for the children than they will over important medical or educational decisions.

Win-wins are few and far between.

Parenting coordinators help parents resolve conflict by teaching them how to make decisions together. By helping parents resolve daily issues concerning the children, parenting coordinators help you stop the race to the courthouse. More importantly, parenting coordinators help reduce the conflict the divorcing family experiences. Who is best served by this process? Your children.

Parenting coordinators focus on the child method of alternative dispute resolution used in high conflict child custody cases. A parenting coordinator is a neutral third-party brought into custody cases to reduce the level of conflict by helping the parents make better decisions concerning the parenting of their children. While the mandate of parenting coordinators may vary somewhat from case to case, their focus is on the small daily decisions parents must make about their children.

Parenting coordinators don’t decide which parent will be the primary caretaker; the judge makes that decision. Parenting coordinators often become involved in a case after a judge has determined who should have custody. The idea is to help the parents work out the issues to stop the fighting. Keep in mind, you need to focus on the welfare of your children.

As a parenting coordinator, I will help in a variety of ways. First, I help the parents improve their communication skills when discussing parenting issues. Poor communication is one of the hallmarks of a marriage that ends in divorce, a factor that is doubly present in high conflict custody cases. It is not possible for parents to co-parent effectively without first being able to communicate with one another. Parenting coordinators also teach the parents about particular developmental issues faced by their children as they proceed through the divorce. They will referee the conflicts between the parents in an attempt to help them reach mutual agreement. When necessary, a parenting coordinator will actually make the decisions if no agreement could be reached.